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Are you a swim nerd?


Are you a swim nerd?
by Wayne McCauley

Start at zero and :

Add 4 points if you have pockets of air in the top of your cap
Add 4 points if you think the decal/name should face forward
Add 3 points each for earplugs or nose clip
Add 1 point if you put conditioner on hair before swimming
Add 5 points if you bought the "foamiest" goggles possible
Add 1 point for every 200 yards you swim with goggles fogged during workout
Add 3 points if you wear a watch during workout
Add another 3 if you don't know how to use your watch to tell your swim times
Add another 3 points if your watch alarm goes off once a day and you can't change it
Subtract 1 point every time you got your time in your workout (-10 max.)
Add 10 to your score if you didn't get your time even once
Add 5 points if you look at the clock but lie about speed or fake that you got the time to your fellow swimmers/coach
Add 10 points if you don't know your 100 free time
Subtract 5 points for each stroke, other than freestyle, that you have swum 200 yards or more in the last week (-15 points max.)
Add 10 points if you counted sidestroke or elementary back stroke in the previous question
Add 5 points if you don't know what an IM is
Add 5 points if your string sticks up out of suit
Add 20 points if your string sticks out below suit
Add 1 point for every inch of width of the side panel of your suit
Add 1 point for every $10 that your equipment cost (including your swim bag and towel)
Add 5 points if you bring your water bottle
Add 3 points if you have a "Power drink" in the water bottle
Add 2 points if you prefer to swim on your own
Add another 2 points if others prefer you to swim on your own
Subtract 5 points every time you get your heart rate 4 X above your resting rate in workout.
Add a point for every 10% of your workout that you wear Zoomers
Add 3 points if you use any "glove" hand paddles
Add 2 points if you use the ladders, stairs or ramps
Add 1 point for every stroke you take in a 25-yard pool

Over 110 Points: Please, always swim with a lifeguard on duty.
90- 110 Points: Stay in the shallow end.
70 - 90 Points: Keep trying. Did you sign the Release of Liability?
50 - 70 Points: Sign up for a clinic; don't expect much but thanks for the check.
30 - 50 Points: There's hope. Perhaps try an ocean swim with a buoyant wetsuit.
10 - 30 Points: You're ready for an International Meet!!
Under 0: Sushi material. How would you like to coach a clinic?

Bonus Points: Add 10 points if you took this questionnaire seriously.

Xtra Bonus: Add 10 points if you added your score.